Ripples of Positive Change

My name is Katie.

Knowing that school wasn’t for me, I left school at 17 to work full-time in a fast-food restaurant and to live with my boyfriend, in what I now realise was a very unhealthy relationship. I fell pregnant at 18 and gave birth to my son two days after my 19th birthday.

My son arrived four weeks early and was in NICU for 3 weeks due to jaundice and feeding issues. The day my son was born, they also discovered a heart murmur. After more investigation, they discovered a hole in his heart that they assured me would close on its own. The next six months were a blur of hospital visits, as my son became more and more unwell.  Unable to hold down food, he put on no weight in the first six months of his life. During this time, I was working full time on top of having a small, unwell baby. Eventually at four months old, we were seen by a cardiologist who advised that the hole in his heart had not closed but had in fact grown and was now leaking fluid into his lungs. The only option now was to head to Starship Hospital in Auckland for heart surgery on my tiny, now 6-month-old. This whole experience was frightening and overwhelming, especially at only 19 years old. It was also not the parenting journey that I had always pictured, which was difficult to process. Although I had great support from my parents, my Plunket nurse recognised that I needed some additional outside support to help me heal from the traumas of my early parenting experiences as well for me to find some direction in my life for the benefit of myself and my son. She suggested a referral to the Anglican Family Care Family Start programme and I accepted this extra support.

How was AFC able to help? Tell us about your experience.

When I first engaged in the Family Start program, I was hesitant to engage and take on the advice that I was given, after all I was nearly 20 now and I certainly thought I knew everything! Over time, my family start worker was able to build a trusting relationship with me which made me relax and open to her support. When my Family Start worker came, she would bring activities that I could do with my son which were fun and engaging. She taught me about how his brain was developing and what I could do to help support him. Over time, we started to make goals for me as well. Eventually I left my unhealthy relationship and moved out to go flatting with some friends, I then moved back home with my parents so that they could support me to work full time, and then to study; all goals which I made with my Family Start worker. Going to study was life changing for me, and I never would have had the courage to do so if not for my Family Start worker encouraging me to do so. By this stage, my son was two, and studying full-time, working part-time and raising a toddler was certainly a challenge. But again, my Family Start worker was there, in my cheering section, ensuring I had the support I needed to get through it all, as well as making sure I looked after myself. Through this time in my life, I became engaged in working within the disability community and I fell in love with this work. This completely changed the trajectory of my life.

What difference has your worker, and the programme made to you and your family/child(ren)?

My son and I graduated from the Family Start programme when he was four years old. My Family Start worker could see how far we had both come. By this stage, I was living with my new partner, and now husband, I was engaged in full-time study to complete my bachelor degree. My son was at full-time kindergarten, his heart issues had completely healed, and we had been discharged from the cardiology service.

As time went on, I finished my studies, worked full time in the disability sector, went on to have another child with my husband and life became greater than I ever could have imagined. My son started school and has now finished his schooling, completing his NCEA Level 3 to a high standard with University entrance. Now at 18, he is going on to his own higher education, theatre studies at Otago University and I could not be more proud of him. He is a keen sportsman who loves football, volleyball, and pickleball and you would never know when you meet him the rough start to life that he had.

All of this would not have been possible without the support, guidance and compassion shown to me by my Family Start worker. I do not know exactly what life would look like, but it certainly would not have been as great as this. The lessons I learnt from her also helped me with my second child and, although I did not need additional support for them, the skills I learnt certainly benefited them as well.

Would you recommend this service to others?

I would, in a heartbeat, recommend the Anglican Family Care team to anyone who may be needing extra help. They are kind, non-judgemental, supportive, and genuine. Thank you for all of your help which is still having a positive impact on our lives over 14 years later.

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